In search of lost memories by Hajime Kimura
It was in January of this year when I realized that I lost my memory.
When I found my family album during cleaning a closet. That was the trigger.
I have dimmed, but partial memory before my mother died, when I was 16 years old. I do have some memories, but they are not necessarily the ones in the photographs. Those memories seem to be correct, my sister says.
Though, few family memories are remembered when I was 16 years old to 29 years old. Especially memories when I was 29 years old is lacking, even it’s just 4 years ago. Those photos were taken just before 3 months my father died.
Come to think of it now, at the time I may try to imprint by force the fact that I was there by confirming those photos. I lost my memory totally but I pretend to remember, pretend to recognize the photos because they have become an imitation memory for me. I couldn’t remember most of the images.
Seeing photos that I may shoot, I tell myself that my father really died. After a few years later he died, I started trace his foot prints. I thought it was the very only way to reduce the distance between him and me.